By Hara Estroff Marano

Follow these rules for the perfect balance in your relationship…

1/ Attention

You listen to each other and are emotionally supportive. You both feel invested in the relationship.

2/ Influence

You respond to each other’s bids for connection. You both have the ability to emotionally affect the other.

READ MORE: The 5 Love Languages May Completely Transform Your Relationship – Here’s How

3/ Accommodation

Although there’ll be some times when one of your needs reign supreme, it happens by mutual agreement.

4/ Respect

You both see the other as admirable and worthy of kindness in a considerate and team-run relationship.

5/ Selfhood

Each of you retains your own selves, able to be your own person with your own core values.

6/ Status

You both feel free to define and assert what’s important for your relationship and to express your needs and goals.

READ MORE: “I Cheated On My Husband – And This Is Why I Did It”

7/ Vulnerability

Each of you is willing to admit weakness, uncertainty and mistakes. Each has the ability to engage and emotionally affect the other.

8/ Fairness

You both feel responsibilities are divided in ways that support you, both individually and as a team.

9/ Repair

Conflicts may occur, but you both make efforts to de-escalate them and calm each other down by taking time-outs

10/ Well-being

Both of you encourage the well-being of the other physically, emotionally and financially.

This is how long most couples date before getting married. Plus: This is why so many couples break up and get back together again.